Pairings of seemingly paradoxical ideas – polarities – abound.

Our mistaken assumption is that it must be one or the other, not “both and”. Journeys always involve a “both and” …a moving away from and a moving toward, and we are all on the journey together in this life. Consider this:

“Our journey through life is one of peril and possibility—and sometimes both at once. How can we stand on the threshold between suffering and freedom and remain informed by both worlds? With our penchant for dualities, humans tend to identify either with the terrible truth of suffering or with freedom from suffering. But I believe that excluding any part of the larger landscape of our lives reduces the territory of our understanding.” 

…

“When we learn to recognize the Edge States in our lives, we can stand on the threshold of change and see a landscape abundant with wisdom, tenderness, and basic human kindness. At the same time, we can see a desolate terrain of violence, failure, and futility. Having the strength to stand at the edge, we can draw lessons from places of utter devastation—the charnel grounds—of refugee camps, earthquake-destroyed areas, prisons, cancer wards, homeless encampments, and war zones, and at the same time be resourced by our basic goodness and the basic goodness of others. This is the very premise of coming to know intimately the Edge States: How we develop the strength to stand at the edge and have a wider view, a view that includes all sides of the equation of life. How we find life-giving balance between oppositional forces. How we find freedom at the edge. And how we discover that the alchemy of suffering and compassion brings forth the gold of our character, the gold of our hearts.”

(Adapted from Standing at The Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet, by Roshi Joan Halifax. © 2018 by Roshi Joan Halifax. Reprinted with permission from Flatiron Books. Published as Life on the Edge, Lion’s Roar, August 27, 2018.)

So, what’s your “edge”?

How can you hold both places in the same space of consciousness, finding the life-giving balance between the seemingly opposing forces that Roshi Halifax writes about? What can you do to include both in a way that acknowledges their respective gifts and creates something bigger and richer in terms of your own growth and development, and what you have to offer the world?? 

Adult development is a process of evolution, with qualitative differences characterizing each stage. However, rather than casting off previous stages as we evolve, we transcend and include the stages and lessons that have come before. The suffering as well as the joy, the shadow and the light, the giving and receiving, the doing and the being. They are part of who we are and how we got here. and we wouldn’t want to leave behind the learning we’ve gained along the journey, would we? Let’s embrace it all – take the wider view with as much equanimity and gratitude as we can. What’s the peril if we don’t? What’s the possibility if we do?