I wrote this post a while ago, but a few things have changed since then. COVID 19 has caused us to either cancel, delay or modify beyond recognition things like; dining out, exercising, sporting events, concerts, shows, school, weddings, graduations, travel, BOOK CLUBS…
Fortunately, we are living in the Information Age, (also known as the Computer Age, Digital Age, or New Media Age), and technology can be our friend to bridge this void until better times. Though it certainly isn’t the same as gathering together at friend’s houses to share a meal, glass of wine and discuss the book of the month, there are some pretty great workarounds that can help keep things rolling until things improve. There are quite a number of different video conferencing options such as; ZOOM, Skype, FaceTime and FaceBook Messenger Chat Rooms for virtual meetings. Though you are only gathering virtually, you can make things a little more interesting by incorporating a theme, maybe something in line with the book you just read or will read next time; costume, food, drinks, audio/visual links or presentations to share….have fun with it. If you don’t belong to a book club, perhaps now is a great time to create a virtual one from scratch! Whatever you do, please be sure to share your ideas and examples in the Teas2Tapas Gallery so that we can all learn a few new tricks. (Maybe share a few book suggestions too? I am always looking for a good read!)
Chances are if you were raised from the 1930’s through to the 1990’s in the United States, you were introduced to reading with Dick, Jane and Sally.
The 1956 Edition: William S. Gray, Marion Monroe, A. Sterl Artley, May Hill Arbuthnot
Illustrated by Eleanor Campbell
Though Dick, Jane and Sally were not very interesting to read about, they started me on a lifelong passion for reading. There is something about the nostalgia and the memory of being handed a new book in school; how it smelled and the anticipation of discovery.
Reading has always been my primary mode of transportation to travel and explore. The words on the page take me to places I could never imagine on my own and then my imagination cues up to ignite my senses.
August 9th is National Book Lovers Day and what better way to celebrate than to learn a little something about Book Clubs. Not knowing much about what they are like and how they work, I decided to ask a few experts on the subject and I learned a lot! These three brilliant and talented women have plenty to share about this great excuse to get together and enjoy food, wine and the company of good friends….oh yes, and the books are important too!
Peggy
Read Between the Wines
The group was started when several ladies in a gated suburban neighborhood decided to start a Bunco group and a book club to get to know their neighbors. The Bunco group didn’t survive, but the book club is still going strong.
Though not an original member, Peggy has been a part of this group of 8 ladies for 10 plus years. The club meets monthly, 9 months of the year. Toward the end of the “season”, each person chooses a genre – which could include anything from mysteries to memoirs to movies made from books. This way, every member is ensured that a book they like and are interested in is chosen. They then research and come to the last meeting armed with their pitches on three books. There isn’t a prevailing genre, but for awhile, a few people ended up suggesting all the books and the main theme was predominately World War II related. “In retrospect,” she adds, ” I am grateful for this, because I learned so much about this most fascinating topic and the sacrifices made by our country and our soldiers.”
What does a book club meeting look like?
Each month, the book club gatherings begin with a variety of light snacks along with wine for members to enjoy for the first thirty minutes. The hostess then leads the discussion about the book, which she has chosen. Sometimes those conversations are very short and sometimes they spark passionate exchanges which evolve into stories from their personal lives. (These are Peggy’s favorite evenings). The discussions last anywhere from 15 minutes to 1 hour, depending upon how many people read the book and also upon what is going on in their lives. They don’t use a rating system, she says, “Ha ha…not really – just the looks on our faces!” The hostess typically uses a questionaire found on line to lead the discussion and ask thought-provoking questions. “Unlike some book clubs,” she adds, “even if someone doesn’t read the book, that’s ok. Read Between the Wines is about spending time together.”
The club has actually shrunk in numbers over the years. Although the group is small, they have a variety of political and religious beliefs and a mixture of retired and still-working members. It makes for some interesting conversations and shared outlooks on life. They have become close friends who are comfortable with some very personal conversations. “What’s discussed at book club, stays at book club!” Although they wouldn’t tell someone who wanted to join that they aren’t welcome, they aren’t actively recruiting new members. If one of the members comes across someone who they think would be a good fit, they could simply ask the rest of the group. “The consensus now is that we are pretty happy with our tight-knit 8”, she adds.
As far as members leaving and coming back over the years, there have been some illnesses that caused members to take a few months off. “A few of us have survived cancer and lost family members and have been supportive of each other during those times of crisis,” she explains. When asked to pick just one thing about the book club that she likes the best, she answers, “We have all known each other for so long that there is a level of trust and commitment to each other…some of these women know more about me than my own family!”
Words of Advice:
Peggy’s words of advice for anyone considering starting up a book club are, ” Choose your members and your books carefully,,,they will all be in your life for a very long time!”
Books that Peggy recommends:
The Book Thief
Love and Other Consolation Prizes
The Sound of Gravel
May: The Hard-Rock Life of Pioneer May Hutton
Leaving Time
The Professor and The Madman
Magpie Murders
And, “probably one of my all-time favorites,” she adds:
Before We Were Yours
Book Club Ideas to Entertain From Three Book Club Experts
Jude
The Bookie Girlfriends
Jude is an original member of her book club which started 26 years ago when two girl friends decided amongst themselves that it would be a fun thing to do. They had been working on a Junior League cookbook and when that project was coming to completion, they decided that they were ready for another chapter. They invited a friend who invited a friend and before long, they had a club.
There have always been twelve members. (“One dropped out years ago and she has come back”, Jude adds). The Bookie Girlfriends meet once a month and they take the summer months off. “Twice a year, we have our meeting where everybody is supposed to be prepared to present 1, 2 or 3 books for consideration. Over the years we have found that the best results, and the best books, have been if someone has read the book before they present it. It’s not just “I heard” or “I have read that this has got a good review”. It is “I have read this and I really like it. I think it was well done so this is what I recommend because…”. The Girlfriends then vote on what they want to read. Jude offers another example; “One year we had so many people recommend Oprah books. After the third book that was Oprah, we just all said, “NO MORE OPRAH BOOKS! No more! NONE!” And we have never read another Oprah book”. She goes on to explain that Oprah books are sad. She recognizes that they are worthwhile books, but the club just didn’t want to go for months being depressed. They also read a number of books about Africa. They found them to be interesting but, they decided that it was time to start ‘mixing things up a bit’. “The one subject that we haven’t ever said “enough” and “no more”, is books about World War II. WWII books, they are constantly available and we salt and pepper that throughout our reading”, she adds. To sum it all up, the prevailing genre, or as Jude puts it, “the common thread that we look for is the development of relationship and what relationships mean to life. How important relationships are. How they break down or strengthen, or whatever”.
What does a book club meeting look like?
Hosting is voluntary and the meetings have evolved over time. The group starts earlier now, since most of the members are no longer working; arrive at 5PM, visit until 6PM, eat dinner and then they talk about the book. The hostess provides the wine and the meal. There is no longer a requirement of having to have read the book before you come to club. “If you haven’t read the book, that is no reason not to come“, she adds emphatically. The person who recommended the book is who presents; she does the research about the author and the book. “The length of discussions vary greatly. We always rate the books. There is nothing to discuss if you all agree.” When asked how the discussion about the book is lead, Jude explains, “I do not care to take a book and dissect the authors writing style or purpose or why that person chose that style. What I care about is the story and how it relates to me and how the author developed the characters. I can see why people fall out of book clubs if they are lead in that way because that isn’t what I care about.” The rating system the club uses is thumbs up, thumbs sideways and thumbs down. The Bookie Girlfriends keep a chart, “from the beginning of time”, that lists the books, the authors and how they rated them. This chart is kept by “Madame Secretary”.
Though the club doesn’t have a formal organization, they do have one “officer” and she is known as “Madame Secretary”. Jude explains. “We have tried to pass the baton for that role to other people and everyone has failed miserably. I have never offered to do it because we like the way she does it. So, when she says, “if you don’t like it…”, we all throw ourselves on the floor and crawl on our bellies to her feet. She does a good job, she is good.” Some of the things that Madame Secretary, also known as Kathy, does for the group are; updates the mailing list–everybody’s email, cell phones, and home phones, (if there are any). “She keeps that all up to date so that we can communicate with each other. Kathy also keeps a list of all the books that we have read and she sends out the notices to say, “Next week book club will be at so and so’s house, please let her know if you can make it or not so she knows how much to provide”. Then, at the bottom of the email, she will attach the rest of the books that have been voted on for reading; who’s house, what time, what to read and who the presenter is.” Jude says that, “time, chance and personalities,” are what make the book club unique. “Magic happens with this group by chance”, she adds.
The Bookie Girlfriends do more than just read books. They have gone to movies and plays, and taken trips to Hawaii, Sedona, AZ, Lake Chelan, and the Washington coast. “Three trips were girls only and one we invited the hubbies”, she adds. They also throw parties and invite the boys. “Which is fun because– in the very beginning, the boys got together and they were talking about books. It was so funny! We would call it a book club party where the boys were invited, but the girls decided that we weren’t going to read any books. We were just going to have a party. The boys– they were ready to talk books! They talked about books that they liked, and were trading book review lists.” Jude pauses and then adds, with a grin, “But most of um now are just buddies.”
Words of Advice:
Jude’s advice for anyone considering starting a book club is; “START IT and bigger is not better. I wouldn’t go more than a dozen. Food is important. It is as important as the book itself. Food, friends, fun and something to titillate your brain–a book. For a new club, don’t be afraid to change your goal. It can be whatever you want it to be.” Jude adds, “In every respect, I would say that this book club has opened our minds and lives to other things we never really would have thought. It has been a great thing. I can’t imagine what my life would have been without the friendships.
Books that Jude recommends:
The Count of Monte Cristo
Patty Jane’s House of Curl
Pati
Wine-ing Women
Pati has been a member of her book club for 23 years. The club was started by her friend, Jodi when she suggested it to several people who she knew liked to read. (Pati also participates in a book club comprised of members of her high school graduating class. She explains, “Because most of us are already in another book club, we meet every other month and now that most of us are retired, we meet at different restaurants for lunch”.)
She is an original member of this group of 11, who meet every 1st Wednesday of the month. The books are selected by the hostess. There is only one ground rule–no Harlequin Romance books. The group in general leans toward historic fiction with a few novels sprinkled in for fun. “We tend to stay away from science fiction,” she adds.
Wine-ing Women started with 7 members and over time, some have moved and life circumstances have changed. (They even experienced the untimely death of one of the members). New members have been allowed to join along the way. This can happen if a member decides that they would like to introduce a new person to the group. The referring member presents the name, relationship with the person and a brief personal/professional history to the club members.
When it comes to evaluating a book, they don’t use a scale or thumbs-up rating. Instead, everyone is invited to share a passage from the book that has struck a chord with them personally. The time spent on reviewing the books depends on the book. “Sometimes if it is a book none of us enjoyed, we pass over it quickly. Recently, we read a novel that included a nurse and a lawyer and because we have both of those professions represented in our book club, it was good to get their professional perspectives on the book. We probably spent about an hour discussing it,” she then adds, “Years ago, we read a novel about illegal immigrants and we discussed that book from the time we started – 7:00 pm to past 10:30 pm”.
What does a book club meeting look like?
Pati describes her book club as casual. At the beginning of the year, each person chooses a month they would like to host the club. The hostess is responsible for wine, dinner, and providing the book. “We began meeting at 7PM for dessert, coffee and wine. Then, because many of us worked past 5, it was hard to get home and have dinner, so we added appetizers. Through the years, it has progressed to dinner, dessert, and of course wine,” she explains and then adds, “One member fixed a 5 course French meal for all of us after taking a cooking class in Paris.”
Pati isnt’ sure if they are unique from other book clubs, except perhaps that the person hosting book club also purchases the book for everyone. “It’s like getting a present every month, It’s nice because that way, you can begin reading the book immediately. Also, there are no restrictions on price consideration – It is whatever you want to pick, hardback or paperback. We have been together through marriages, babies, divorces and death and have become life long friends. Last year, we decided to add travel to the book club and went to Walla Walla for a long weekend. We found a beautiful house that slept 10, rented a limo to take us to the wineries and then out to dinner. It was great fun and this year we are going to Leavenworth to see the outdoor production of The Sound of Music. We also don’t meet for the regular book club during December, instead, we invite spouses. Everyone brings wine and an appetizer to share. We also bring wrapped books and do an anonymous gift exchange.”
Words of Advice:
To anyone who is interested in starting a book club, Pati’s advice is, “Just do it? Start asking people if they like to read and if they would like to form a book club. Have them invite a friend or two and before you know it, you are off and running.”
Books that Pati recommends:
Lust for Life
The Agony and the Ecstasy
Jimmy Bluefeather
Until next time,
enjoy Entertaining An Idea
and be sure to subscribe to the
Entertaining An Idea Newsletter
Pingback: CELEBRATING AN IDEA - Entertaining An Idea